Spongebob's Ding Dong Dilema
by killalao
Summary: Basically spongebob drinks a strange potion he found at sandy's, erotic and hilarious antics ensue.


Spongebob in Ding Dong Dilemma.

One morning, like many mornings, Spongebob took a trip down to Sandy's dome to see what the genious squirrel was working on before he too had to go to work. As usual Sandy did not disappoint, as her "yard" of sorts was full of many ambiguous contraptions, inventions, gadgets, and devices. Sandy was busy working on one of her machines and did not hear Spongebob enter, so like many days before Spongebob had to explore her lab a bit to find her. The walk over had left him thirsty so he was also looking for a drink. He thought he found one in a jar of sea-green liquid that looked a lot like Dr. Kelp.

"Hey Sandy where are you? "Spongebob called out.

"Oh hey Spongebob, I didn't hear you enter." Sandy replied from behind one of the machines.

"Is this safe to drink?" He said. "I'm thirsty, the long walk over here was exhausting."

"Which jar you looking at? " Sandy asked.

"It's the one on the right." Spongebob said. Not realizing he had his directions confused.

"Oh yeah, that's just my experimental acorn soda, you'll be fine." Sandy replied.

So Spongebob picked up the jar of green liquid and began to drink it.

"You know this is pretty good, but it doesn't taste like acorns at all." Spongebob said as he tried to figure out the odd flavor.

"Huh? What do you mean? Do you even know what acorns taste like?" Sandy said as she finally peaked out at him from behind her machine. It didn't take long for her to realize his mistake.

"Spongebob, don't drink that! It's my genital enhancement formula." Sandy suddenly yelled when she realized what was going on, but it was too late, he had already finished the bottle.

"General enhancement formula? Hmm, I don't feel generally enhanced." Spongebob replied as he set the empty bottle back on the shelf.

"This can't be good, you drank the whole bottle." Sandy said, waiting for the formula to kick in.

"How much ' general enhancement' are we talking here?" Spongebob asked, still confused.

"Not general you twit, genital." Sandy replied.

"Say what?" Spongebob asked.

"Now that you mention it, I kind of feel funny." Spongebob said.

Seconds later, his spongey-yellow penis uncontrollably burst out of his pants, and gently flopped on the floor, his now baseball-sized testicles followed soon after followed by the rest of his clothes which were severly torn.

"Oh . . . . my . . . . . god." Sandy said.

"I can't cover it up!" Spongebob panicked as his hands failed to hide his now massive schlong from the female squirrel.

"It's ok Spongebob, just relax I uh, I might be able to fix this." Sandy said as she striped down to her bikini.

"By getting naked too?" Spongebob asked. "But how are we going to convince everyone else to go naked?"

"No you twit, just lay down and relax." Sandy replied.

At his wits end, spongebob layed down on his back and hoped that Sandy knew how to fix this, truth be old, she didn't, but she had a theory that if she managed to jerk him off, he might return to normal.

"Sandy this feels kind of funny." Spongebob said as the cute squirrel girl began to rub his member.

"Just relax." Sandy said, fighting every urge to stuff his rod into her mouth, she held out for a few minutes but as his shaft began to harden and expand even further she eventually found she had started to suck on it subconciously.

"What am I doing? We're just friends, this is so wrong." She thought. "I created that potion so I could make a fortune, not so I could screw his brains out."

"Sandy it's not working, it's getting bigger." Spongebob cried.

"I know, just hold on, I'll fix it." She said as she subconciously removed her top and brought spongebob's hands to her breasts.

"Does this feel good?" she asked.

"Mhm, but what are these?" Spongebob said as he curiously squeezed her tits.

"They're my boobs, you twit." Sandy replied in disbelief. "I knew you weren't the brightest but really?"

"What else are you hiding under your clothes? "Spongebob asked.

"Well, maybe I'll show you in a minute." Sandy replied.

"I want to see now!" Spongebob demanded as he forcefully put her on her back and ripped off her panties. This terrified Sandy for a brief moment, but then spongebob began to explore her pussy with his fingers and the arousal took over.

"That's my pussy, you nitwit." Sandy said, trying her very best to regain her composure.

"What's it do? " Spongebob asked.

"You're supposed to stick your poker inside of it." Sandy replied, as she wondered why she even wanted to give him that idea.

Sure enough the next thing she felt was Spongebob trying to stuff his giant prick inside her.

"Wait, you have to wet it down first. " Sandy cried out right before he forced himself inside.

"Oh you mean like this? " Spongebob said as he backed off just a bit, revealed his freakishly long tongue and lapped at her pussy.

"Oh good golly yes!" Sandy exclaimed.

So spongebob lubed her up real good, and then he carefully slipped his giant weiner inside her, and they fucked, and they fucked, and they fucked, if you're reading this you've probably seen porn before, so just imagine all the different positions they could do. Anyway this went on until Spongebob felt like his weiner was about to explode. And before he even knew what was happening, he did so, semen gushed from his penis with such force that it propelled him out and away from Sandy, clear into the the side of the dome. Leaving the Squirrel covered head to toe in sticky white goo, and leaving both of them temporarily incapacitated.

Unfortunately, it didn't work, indeed the swelling had gone down, but spongebob's penis was still ridiculously big.

The sponge came to a few moments later and promptly detached himself from the side of the dome. Now work was on his mind, but there was one problem, his clothes were destroyed and he very well couldn't go to work naked.

He quickly found Sandy lying on the ground, still naked and covered in his semen.

"Sandy it didn't work." He said as his wiener limply dangled just inches from her face.

"Well drat." Sandy said in a very dazed state of mind.

"What am I going to do? I have to get to the krusty krab in twenty minutes, my wee-wang is the size of an alaskan bull worm and my clothes are torn to shreds!" Spongebob exclaimed as he quickly returned to a panic state.

"I have some extra clothes for you in my house remember? You left them over here because you wanted me to make them waterproof." Sandy said. "I never got around to that but you should still be able to wear them."

"Won't my wii-wang just break them again?" Spongebob asked.

"If you're very careful it shouldn't." Sandy replied.

"Why is that?" Spongebob asked.

"Because of science stuff you won't understand." Sandy replied as she struggle to her feet and collected her clothes. "I'm going to go take a shower, come back after work, hopefully by then I can find a solution to your problem."

So spongebob followed her into her house, she showed him where his clothes were, and then very carefully managed to shove the entiriety of his giant wiener and balls into his pants without ripping them. It was extremely uncomfortable and left possibly the most noticeable bulge ever, but it would have to do. He didn't have any other choice, he couldn't let this ruin his record for never being late to work. So he left Sandy's dome for the morning, and then walked to work, in a very awkward and somewhat painful manner. From the moment he opened the door to the krusty krab, all the customers were staring at him, all the men were disgusted, and all the women were either blushing or covering their children's eyes. And Squidward, Squidward was staring at his phone, getting ready for his hot date tonight with a girl he met on the internet. It was the first date he had been on for a long time and he was so absorbed in his conversation with her that he didn't even notice spongebob's entrance at all. As he waddled into the kitchen, a few of the women went up to the front desk to watch him work.

"What's the first order of the day squidward? " Spongebob suddenly and weakly said through the ordering window behind him, catching him completely off guard and causing him to drop his phone to the floor.

" Ohhh, you're here. " Squidward said in disgust. "I was beginning to think you wouldn't show up."

"Are you women going to order something or are you just going to stand around all day?" Squidward asked.

"We want to watch the chef work." The women said.

"Well, go watch somewhere else, this line is for ordering customers only." Squidward said.

Just then Mr. Krabs bursts out of his office. "What is going on here Mr. Squidward?!"

"These women want to watch spongebob work." Squidward replied." I really can't imagine why."

Without even understanding why the women wanted to see spongebob, Mr. Krabs, seeing a rather profitable opportunity said. "Allright ladies, you want to see the great Chef Spongebob up close? Mr. Krabs said as he moved to stand beside the kitchen door. Twenty clams gets you access to the kitchen."

In next to no time Mr. Krabs had a stack of twenties in his hand, and Spongebob was joined in the kitchen by quite an assortment of young fish women.

"Um, hello." Spongebob said nervously as all the women staired at his bulge.

"See Squidward, that's how you run a business!" Mr. Krabs said as he retreated back into his office to stuff his new collection of twenties into his safe.

"Whatever you say Mr. Krabs." Squidward said before returning to his phone, not interested in the slightest.

"Now come on ladies, control yourselves." Spongebob said as some of the women began to get frisky. His giant, unnatural bulge had their curiousity peaked to the point where they could not help but invade his personal space, some of them even had the nerve to shove their hands down his pants.

"Come on spongey, just let us see it, just this once." One of the women said, completely overcome with lust.

"If I let you see it, will let me get back to work? "A desperate spongebob asked.

All the women nodded in agreement.

"Ok then, fine." Spongebob said as he attempted to remove his pants. He felt a lot better as his giant weiner freely flopped onto the floor.

"Oh Neptune, it really is that big." One of the women exclaimed.

"It's bigger than Larry's." Said another.

"Come on girl let's ride this sea-stallion." Said a third as she decided to pin poor spongebob to the ground.

"Now ladies you said." Spongebob tried to defend himself.

"Forget what we said." Said one of the fishwoman as she began to remove her clothes. "We've never seen one so big, and we want it right girls? "

"Right Shubie." The others said in unison and they too removed their clothes.

"Um, those are nice and all." Spongebob said as he looked at all their exposed breasts. "But I really should get back to work."

"Non-sense fryboy." Said Shubie. "Just relax and we'll take care of everything."

"SQUIDWARD HELP!" Spongebob cried out.

Squidward heard him, but he didn't care, he didn't even look back through the window, he just kept staring at his phone screen. Even when the moans started to come from the kitchen.

"What is going on back there?" A male customer asked. Soon many concerned customers began to approach the front desk.

"There are children here!" One of them called out.

"My wife and daughter are back there." Called out another.

Somehow squidward ignored them for several minutes.

At this point spongebob had been completely drawn away from his work and was instead in a land of pleasure. He didn't even know how many women he had been inside at this point, but they were all trying to please him as much as possible. It was now that he learned all about the magic of women, some had nice, bouncy boobs that were great fun to play with, and others had smaller but perkier boobs with nipples that felt amazing as they rubbed against his own chest. Some were better at sucking his cock than others, some of them tasted better, but all of them felt amazing in their own special, sexy way.

Eventually Mr. Krabs caught on to the grumbling outside his office and went to investigate.

"What the barnacle's going on now Mr. Squidward?" He asked as Squidward stared through the ordering window, memerized by the sight of Spongebob fucking all these beautiful women, just moments before he had decided to finely see what was going on, and now he was deeply regretting it.

It was only a few moments later when spongebob finally couldn't take anymore and his wiener once again gushed out a mighty stream of semen, which accidently went through the ordering window and covered Squidward, Mr. krabs, and several other customers who were now completely disgusted and leaving in droves.

Soon the restaurant was empty aside from Squidward, Mr. Krabs, a tired spongebob, and about about a half dozen naked and extremely satisfied fish women.

Squidward just stood there motionless, while Mr. krabs became very very very very angry.

"HOW DARE YOU DEFILE ME RESTAURANT WITH THIS DISGUSTING FILTH YOU VERMIN!"

"Mr. Krabs it wasn't my fault." Spongebob tried to defend, as Krabs entered the kitchen and draggged him to the door by his arm.

" YOOOOOUUURRRR'RRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE FIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!" Krabs yelled in a state of pure rage as he kicked the sponge away as hard as he could. Then he closed the door behind him, flipped the open sign on the window over to closed, and headed back to the kitchen.

"Now as for you ladies, there are too ways you can pay your fee for having sex with my frycook." He said. "Right Mr. Squidward?"

"Um, actually Mr. Krabs I have a date tonight, if you don't mind, I'd just like to go home." Squidward said after he finally regained his sanity.

"Oh whatever you lilly-livered killjoy. More for me." Krabs said as he lowered his pants,

Spongebob landed miles away, naked, and the only place around in sight that he could possibly get clothes being Mr. Krab's house. He didn't have time to run home, he had to run to boating school soon to take his license test again. And then he had to go to Sandy's to get his ding dong dilemma fixed.

Just then, Pearl happened to be walking by, as she was sneaking back home after skipping school.

Spongebob? Why are you here? Why are you naked?" She said, surprised to see both him and his massive schlong.

"Hey Pearl? Shouldn't you be at school? " A rather defeated Spongebob asked at this point he didn't even care that she could see his giant weiner he had already been fired from the krusty krab, his life was over.

" It's um, home studies class. Why are you naked? You know what? Nevermind, let's go inside and get you some clothes. " Pearl replied as she pretty much dragged the helpless sponge into her house. Obviously Mr. Krabs wasn't there, so they were alone. Once the door closed behind them, Pearl set spongebob down on the couch with ease and happily began to massage his cock.

"Pearl I thought you said you were going to get me some clothes."

"In a moment spongebob, you have the biggest dick I've seen."

"How many have you seen? Aren't you only 16." Spongebob asked out of concern.

"18, and , well, um, just yours, and, um, squidward's." She cringed.

"Now just relax." She said before sliding the entireity of his massive schlong into her mouth.

"Pearl!" Spongebob exlaimed, but it was no use, the whale was busy happily sucking him off and he soon found himself increasingly curious about what she looked like without her clothes. And eventually he was able to bury his face in her earth-sized tits that later jiggled wildly as she bounced on his giant member with enough force to kill an ordinary man, but, as spongbob was in fact, a sponge, he found himself feeling nothing but pleasure, even as the couch gave way underneath him. It wasn't long before his penis erupted yet again, filling the young whale's womb with semen. After that, Pearl finally made good on her word and gave him some of her dad's old clothes. They kissed eachother goodbye, and then spongebob took off for boating school.

For the first time today, spongebob felt relatively comfortable, as his clothes were a bit bigger, and his bulge was not as noticeable, but still present. So he walked in to take his driving test with confidence like he had so many times before, and just like so many times before, Mrs. Puff looked utterly dissapointed as Spongebob walked into her class, until she noticed his bulge and began to have ideas for a new kind of exam.

"Good afternoon spongebob, today we have a new kind of test." She announced.

"You want me to take off my pants don't you?" Spongebob correctly guessed after everything else that had happened today.

"Um, no why would I want you to do that? "Mrs. Puff asked, thinking he was onto her.

"Spongebob, if I let you in that boat again, I know you're just going to go out of control and destroy the entire school." She began to explain.

"And well, ever since Harold's accident . . . . "

"Just do it." A defeated spongebob said as he dropped his pants and his massive schlong flopped to the floor.

"Holy . . . I uh, spongebob, how?" Mrs. Puff exclaimed.

"Do you want it or not? "Spongebob miserably asked.

She walked up to him and touched it in amazement.

"It's, it's real." She exclaimed in amazement.

"Mhm." Spongebob said.

Mrs. Puff gently slid the tip into her mouth and slurped his giant schlong all the way up to his balls.

"Holy cow Mrs. Puff." SpongeBob exclaimed as his boating teacher made his cock firm and hard.

"Harold used to love it when I did that." Puff commented. "But I think he loved these even more." She said as she dropped two massive balloon-tits out from under her dress.

"Woah, I had no idea you had such giant boobs Mrs. Puff. " Spongebob said with glee.

And so Spongebob finaly earned his boating-license by fucking the ever-living daylights out of his teacher. On the desk, on the floor, against the chalkboard, against a boat, upon it's soft vinyl seats, and when his weiner was once again ready to burst, Mrs. Puff happily and amazingly swallowed it all.

A few minutes later, license in hand, SpongeBob left the boating school and headed back over to Sandy's, happy that for once something had gone right. Staring at his shiny new license while walking down the street, his giant schlong gets caught in a pothole and causes him to tumble down quite a large hill until he crashes into a beautiful, young, squid girl.

"I'm so sorry mam, I think, I think I broke, well, everything." A sore sponge bob apologized as he slipped his still shiny license into his pocket.

"Oh it's ok." The woman said as she regained her footing. "Do you know where the coral palace is? I was supposed to meet a man named Squidward there tonight."

"No, but I know Squidward. HE'S MY BEST FRIEND!" Spongebob yelled excitedly.

"What is in your pants?" She asked, unsure of what to think.

"It's um, my weiner, you want to see it don't you?" Spongebob guessed, as nearly every other woman he bumped into wanted the same.

"You should show me. " The young squid girl proudly insisted in a matter not unlike squidward. "You owe me for breaking your fall."

Once again SpongeBob whipped out his giant schlong.

"Oh god it's real." The squid girl said in amazement. "Can I touch it?"

"Ohh go ahead, everyone else has already." A defeated spongebob replied.

Spongebob had stuck his giant schlong into a lot of different women today, but this squid girl was something new. Her tits were average, but she was soft and squishy, yet flexible. She squeezed him really tight, as their bodies matched eachother's curves almost perfectly. Not only that, but some of the positions she showed him were ones that no other girl could even come close to pulling off. When they finally finished spongebob had had an amazing time.

"Oh my gosh that was amazing." Spongebob said. " I can't wait to tell Squidward how much fun you are. I'm sure he'll love you."

"Wait, don't tell him that, it's a secret." The squid girl insisted.

"Oh it is? Sorry I didn't know. Don't worry, you secret is safe with me." Spongebob said as he went on his merry way.

It was still quite a long ways to Sandy's and Spongebob found he simply could not keep it in his pants, all the women he came across, whether they were eels, shrimp, fish, whales, they all wanted him inside of them, and it was beginning to drive him completely crazy.

Finally, Spongebob made it to Sandy's.

"Sandy, did you find a cure yet? I don't know if I can take another day of this, all the girls just won't leave me alone!" Spongebob said as he entered her tree dome.

"Spongebob, I've almost got it, but I need more samples of your semen." Sandy said.

"My wa?" Spongebob asked.

"I need to play with your dingdong again." Sandy said as she slipped on some gloves.

"Ok, if that's what you need." Spongebob said.

So Sandy proceeded to jerk Spongebob off, and after looking at samples of his semen through a microscope, she pressed some buttons on a computer keyboard and a printer began to print out a piece of paper.

"Eureka!" She yelled. "I've found the antidote."

"What is it?" Asked a tired spongebob.

"It's this." Sandy said as she held up the piece of paper, on it was a picture of the ugliest most unattractive thing that could ever possibly be imagined. It was the ugliest thing, next to the ugly barnacle, which as you all know, was so ugly, that everybody died. It was so ugly, that upon seeing it, spongebob's dick and balls shrank back to a somewhat normal size. It was so ugly, that I can not even properly describe it to you, because there's a good chance that an accurate description, just like the picture, may have similar effects to all those reading this. It's like the sick twisted dream of that guy that invented corn flakes.

"It worked!" Sandy cheered. "I'm rich!"

"Thankyou Sandy." A greatful Spongebob said.

"Hey spongebob?" Sandy asked.

"Yeah?" Spongebob replied.

"How about you come see me every morning before work from now on, I have a lot more tests I need to do." Sandy said.

"Just don't make me go through that again." Spongebob said.

"Oh don't worry. I won't." Sandy replied.

Every morning since then, Spongebob and Sandy maintained a sexual relationship, as the rest of SpongeBob's life gradually returned to normal as people forgot about his giant schlong. Many secrets were kept, many relationships were ruined, but hey, Sandy did make a fortune off of her genital enhancement formula and that really ugly photo. So much so that she developed a gadget to erase the memories of those who were effected, except for hers and Spongebob's of course. Unfortunately, that didn't quite fix everything.

epilogue: (9 months later)

Squidward is at the hospital where his former girlfriend, now wife, is giving birth.

After waiting many anxious hours, the doctor finally hands him his newborn son.

As he pulls back the blanket to see his son's face his mind is completely shattered as he realizes the baby has spongebob's face, cutely calls him "dada" and begins to laugh spongebob's signature laugh. Squidward holds himself calmly enough to gently hand the baby back to the doctor and then he chaotically sprints out of the hospital in absolute terror.

In another room, Pearl is giving birth as well, the child, a whale sponge hybrid, is promptly adopted by plankton, who is disguising himself as a robotic to the Mr. Krabs robot he had used in the past, but this one has a mustache.

"And now I shall raise the son of the fry cook as my own, and soon he will be making krabby patties for me!" Plankton declares after he leaves the hospital.


End file.
